Sexy is what keeps him, from the inside. One of their biggest fears in relationships is losing their freedom. Especially during the early stages. I told him I loved him then I asked him could we please keep trying. But little by little, over time, they work out their feelings and start to become more comfortable, and the distance they bounce away becomes less and less. Instead of feeling like his withdrawal from you is something to fear, notice your fear, acknowledge that you are scared, and give that part of yourself the space to be.
So if you think you can withhold sex without jeopardizing his love for you, you are so wrong. The more feminine you are, the more likely you attract masculine guys. I am seeing a guy who has been through something similar. When I do it to him, he just says thank you and tells me how much he enjoys hearing me say stuff like that. And second: usually when a man pull away, he does not give us a reason. He is coming back in 5 days time.
My so called boyfriend lived away from his home for 15 years. I replied with a lighthearted message saying i understood. Avoiding feeling it just takes you away from your authentic energy. If you let a guy pursue you, and he still pulls away, that is a sure sign that he is not interested. I hate immature men and I will not coddle nor condone their behavior.
The things that got him interested in you in the first place are the things that keep him interested and happy over time. The last thing men want is a ball and chain for a relationship. You guys were spending so much together and he was calling or texting every day. No need to resist yourself, cover up your rawness, or lash out and make a man wrong for pulling away just because you now suddenly feel vulnerable. He goes into that cave and shuts the door. Because you are everything you ever wanted. He fell asleep that night, and when he woke up the next day he hated himself for it and figured you must hate him.
Here are a few things to keep in mind so that your guy has the space he needs while you are still managing your own vulnerable feelings. He is so emotional that he melts like butter. He lives with his sister and is very close to her and to his parents who live in another city. I know you must love him, but that´s not a mature way to behave. They would do anything for them… if it was on their schedule. Nut I dont need to be in your head I just want to make sure we are good.
I realized I was the one doing most of the initiating so I stepped back. Stop reaching out to him, let him contact you, let the space between you grow so he can breathe again and so he can miss you. He may feel as if he is starting to get really close to you so he pulls back in order to regain self-control and perspective. All this leaves semi- or illiterate men feeling chronically inferior to other men, and undeserving of the blessing of raising children and being in a good marriage. For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men. He is a very easy go free kind of guy.
Turns out that was not the case. Hi Emma, Thank you for sharing your story. Do you speak with him, invite him at your place or react the same way he did? You are literally commanding him to. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. This is where the disappearing act comes in. Disappearing because of commitment issues is the work of a coward.
After the first few weeks he decided that we should slow things down and get to know one another better…I did not argue and the sex stopped. You never hear from him again and it is as if none of it ever happened. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. Yours are just words that you emote, and then you calm yourself down. I have not been texting him or call him daily or bug him about things, the last time we were together, i did initiate contact. I left after reeming him out for half an hour, and the next day he called me. No more nights out with friends, no more going out and mingling with people, no more freedom to pursue personal interests…just spending time with one person forever.
Then, without any warning, there is a shift, and he pulls back. Men want to feel wanted and desired, not needed. As for me it is and what do you think? Fill your life with friends and start dating. Slowly he texts me less and less. It was dinner and dancing in the loving room and gifts and conversation and laughing.
So you look at him and say maybe we slept together too early. My story is that I met what I thought was an amazing guy and actually thought he could be the one…scary thoughts for me but I just bought everything that he was saying and believed him right away. You may have just spent an entire week or weekend together and had a really good time. With him, there was no question. Then his contact became less frequent.