I can definitely identify many if not all of these in my communication and those of other guys. Because of this, men tend to communicate more factually and less emotionally. The difficulty is in the way men and women communicate. It's the female version of seeing red for a man. Studying how she differs from him in these categories can go a long way to helping him learn how to communicate with the one woman he needs to understand. I tended to view this as I sign of weakness and now I realize that was a mistake and I was negatively affecting that relationship with that mindset. Cheryl does this for me continually.
And I think there are bigger consequences when we say, men are this way, and women are that way. It's interesting to me because many women yep, me cry when we get angry. The only way to know is to talk with the men with whom you are trying to communicate to see if these are true for them. Most likely he meant only nothing more than what was said. In my position, I hear from men and women continually. Men simply tend to have different social sensibilities.
I like that we are given tools and that this gives us a realistic view we can use to go by. Women may have multiple meanings with a statement. My counseling background and years of experience working with couples has given me insight into some of the barriers men and women face when communicating. We've hit a wall and have no way of releasing the intense feelings, so we cry. It is quite painful when we are not understood.
So guys, step back and give her space when she cries instead of charging in like a bull. I've just never seen a comment like this one, and it does my heart good to see others understand the nuances of people. Thinkers tend toward objective versus subjective. Women have gone to the other extreme and have become so independent they are not patient and do not take the time to understand the man's point of view. I am afraid it took me a while and I still get frustrated.
. When that happens to me, it's much better to leave me alone to talk it out with a girlfriend and then come back to the issue later with my husband. I honestly think that angers some. Thinkers focus on things rather that persons. Not only are there differences, but they still have the same problem we do: We still need the other to really get through this life! With male-female generalities, there are just two, and there are too many exceptions for me to accept the generalities. Female friends often will help a woman get a handle on the emotion and see perspectives.
I couldn't do it with out the Lords help either. Please understand, there is never an excuse to misuse anger and abuse of any kind should not be tolerated. I also have always wondered if our culture didn't emasculate men who expressed tears in the same way women do different from what I like to call manly tears for example saving a brother think Saving Private Ryan or in sports maybe we could solve relationship issues easier. I remember reading an article somewhere a couple of years ago, that in businesses, men and women working on a problem will come to the exact same conclusion about 80% of the time, but will get to that conclusion in significantly different ways, because of the differing ways in which men and women think and process information. My wife and I have observed this for a decade, since before we married.
Each item in this list has a corollary for women in general that can help men understand their wives. It bothered me that there was such a limited view about who men are and how you should create ministries and events for them. There are women who score clearly on the Thinking side of the scale; men who score clearly on the Feeling. My hope is that these — as general as they may be — may help some women better understand a man and improve communication. The companion post will follow. I did not realize women's tears triggered men's anger. Women tend to be perceived as more skilled socially.
In most relationships — communication appears to be the biggest struggle. In seminary, I took a class about men's ministries. It is their job to build up whoever is weaker rather tear them down. We'll often have a better chat about it when we've both calmed down. And what about the 30% of the women who don't have such an emotional, complex, nurturing heart for others as they are told they should? But anger in itself is not a sin. Thanks for the helpful article Ron.
I guess that is where being lead by the spirit is important. That's when the explosions happen. This can be as helpful for men as it is for women. The basic premise of all of these is to remember that men and women are different. What happens in the minds of the 30% of the male population who feel more, prefer cooperation over competition, and want heart-to-heart communication when they are told that's feminine? I have shared this others and it has already begun conversations in our group.