My son was bullied and it changed his personality and how he interacted withdrew from people so I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. Do you think they haven't tried to look for better ways? On my first attempt, I failed the bar by less than one point and passed the second time. I just can't stop putting my head down. Those called to religious ministry are trained in helping people in crisis, including individuals in despair who may be suicidal. Reach out to people who are there for you and who understand how it feels, and want to help.
Follow above ideas of punishment and reward to bring discipline for all other type of activities as well that you seek to perform or avoid. One day, all these suicidal thoughts will just be a memory. I remember a day when I was abandoned, I was just five discarded like trash no one seemed to want me. Write down what you've accomplished. You choose something better the next time. The mods retain their godlike powers to make flair conform to community standards with impunity. Someone in a post down below stated that suicide is wrong.
I still have a lot of living to do. You can go for daily reward for the first 30 or 60 days or so if the discipline is more challenging for you and then revert to weekly reward. Other general pieces of advice:- There are many more western countries you could aim at In the meantime what could you do within your current bounds? There are people who love you dearly, and it would crush them for hundreds of years. No ones offering real mental health help but blaming laziness and inability to cope with life and depression. I wish I could make things better for you. I know that it sucks right now, but remember that you are only becoming more resilient every time you go through this.
And if you dont want to, you have many options outside of Germany. I can't care about the names you call me when I'm in this much pain. In fact, it takes the ultimate courage to reach out and tell people, I am hurting so much right now. My brother did not commit a crime. Ken Baldwin and Kevin Hines both say they hurdled over the railing, afraid that if they stood on the chord they might lose their courage.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please know you do not have to face this alone. You don't get to choose what happens to you. It is sure to let you escape from them and look at the situation from the side. God damn it I'm doing it tonight I've already had 3 attempts but this time it'll work. At 19 from a maximum security cell I called on him again I said, I'm so sorry please forgive me. Then your suffering will mean something.
All that comprises you comes from way beyond your street, your country, and your planet. And I've been very, very depressed for a very big part of that whole time. I can only talk about the philosophical, psychological or technological matter or anything intellectual in general. Countries like the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark also have cheap tuition. Let's be real, bottom ranked students pass the bar every year. You haven't wasted the last four years of your life, and you can certainly pass the bar if you've come this far. Some of them I knew and some of them I didn't.
At the end of the day, it's just school. Were I was molested and abused I remember hearing a story about Jesus from some people and when I heard it I thought if only He would help me. I purely agree with you on what you said about reason. If you're searching for reasons not to kill yourself, then you would be doing me the greatest possible service by reading this article. He has a house, a nice car, and a family.
However, I now know that those self-damning thoughts were from the enemy and were meant to destroy my life. There are things in life not just your family why not to take your life. Ask your parents for an extension. I have some college and by some I mean a lofty 18 units at a junior college frequented by drug addled degenerates 5. You'll be better but you wont seem as fully happy as the rest of the world.
Note: Please do not suggest me suicide helplines. But take care of yourself and love yourself because you are always going to be much more than law school, bar exams, and any of that crap. As folks have said above-this is not your worth or your future. You can get other jobs with a law degree. Of course, part of that is our own failing, on a societal and individual level. For then would I fly away and be at rest; but Christ does not pray like that, He leaves us in His Father's hands, until, like shocks of corn fully ripe, we shall each be gathered into our Master's garner. Or, as once said to , Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough.