Yes, both of our 20-yr reunions are coming up. There is just no intimacy at all. My husband drives me insane to the point i end up in tears, we have a 13 month old together so I don't want to pack up and just leave because of the sex issue, so I just put up with it. Time and time again she tells me, I'm not in the mood tonight. She keeps asking me if I am going to finish up, every 30 seconds and I just lose it.
After saying that and seeing my reaction, she said she just doesn't love me the same way when we were first married. As a man, it is your responsibility to keep the spark alive in your relationship. The marriage counseling we once had was great stuff, I learned a lot from those visits. Good for you caring enough about your self and loving yourself enough to know you deserve better! He said that he was angry at me because he was tired of being the provider in our household. I feel unwanted, unloved, forgotten, neglected, not appreciated and not a priority in her life. Without fail, every single time I have spoken on sexual intimacy and mentioned this problem, women have approached me, relieved to know that they aren't alone.
Also, there is more to intimacy than an erect penis. Then ask yourself the following question: do I seriously want to compare my wife's feelings about sex with my own attitude toward taking out the garbage? Quote: Originally posted by jmargel. Other days, you probably shift from shame to blame, feeling angry with your husband for his seeming inability or unwillingness to meet your needs for love, affirmation, and sexual fulfillment. I'm a 38-yr-old male that's married to a 37-yr-old female just 5 months difference in age , and we have two children who are 3 and 6. He just figured I'm not interested, but he's wrong.
This seems counter intuitive, but in fact when you keep bringing it up. He was and is my most compassionate lover. If you find yourself dreading the time that you make love, you may have a serious aversion to sex, and that may be what's keeping you from making love to your husband. Okay, I hope that helps and if you need any more help, I hope that you check out my programs on relationships here at The Modern Man. Your wife would be able to relate to her better.
Yah, unfortunately, it seems like you are in good company as this seems to be a big problem in a lot of marriages. I would, however, encourage you to talk to him about curbing his masturbation habit in order to improve his sex life with you. My wife will basically never give a compliment, while I often let her know, that she looks good in what she's wearing or her hair looks nice or whatever. I honestly don't even have a problem with porn or if he watched it from time to time on days when we weren't home together. After a couple of months, I was a different person. Although, I don't necessarily agree with you about the children's needs.
Instead of focusing on your needs, ask your wife just what it is that makes her so unable to be sexually close. Is your marriage at risk of being sex-starved? She might not stray immediately, but if the spark has long since died at home and her husband is blaming her for it, she might seek to feel happy and attracted around other men. That's not what you want all the time. However, if when they get married, he begins to use her and the relationship as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life, she will feel turned off by him, annoyed by him, betrayed by him and disappointed in him. You may find it very difficult to climax, you rarely fantasize about sexually arousing experiences, and, for you, sex is more pleasurable as affection than it is for sex per se.
It makes me feel connected with you on intimate levels you, as a woman, maybe just don't understand. I'm sure she's thinking that all I'm going to want is sex tonight, and I'm sure she's just waiting for me to mention something about that. The good news is that it's not something that takes years and years to do, and it's an exciting thing to participate in even if you don't get immediate results. Never ever bring up the relationship with your wife unless she does first. We have talked about this issue constantly over the last three years but nothing changes.
Dear Michele, Please, please help me. Sometimes resentment kills sexual desire. While it may seem perfectly normal for your wife to keep her financial details to herself, it may mean not only a lack of trust but total disinterest in informing you about her life that she leads separate from you. . She won't give me a good answer about that because she says she doesn't know.
Obviously she doesn't want sex, so I cannot even approach her about that without pissing her off. I've never once said no to something she wanted to do. I've thought of this being a possibility for some time now. If the average wife seems bent on avoiding sex, is there something wrong with you if you actually crave it? And even then, it's not really having sex. Sure it can be a chicken and egg thing but if you are supplying their dopamine and oxytocin most of those other things vaporize.